3/27/12

Welcome again dear readers. I must shudder to think of how oft I left you wrenched with sighs and rending your garments waiting with baited breath for the next installment of Gonzo’s Dressing Room. (O.K. so realistically you probably have no idea if it’s been two days or two months since the last installment. I’m not kidding myself here.) But since my blog is yet again late and the next post may be even later, I’ve decided to bestow a quintet of reviews. Yes, five, count ‘em, five comics will be put under the microscope this week. (To save your eyes and brains undue stress I have kept them as succinct as practical.) So away we go...

Age of Apocalypse #1

Remember the Age of Apocalypse? Possibly the first X-Books- wide mega-event in which we see a world where Charles Xavier never founded the X-Men and Apocalypse

ran a planet-wide Darwinian mutant distopia? No, neither did I at first. Well, apparently this tangent world did not end. Big Blue has been overthrown but this universe’s Wolverine, now called Weapon Omega, has fallen right into Apocalypse’s shoes. ( See, see, I’ve always said Logan was the most potentially corruptible of the core X-men.)

David Lapham’s scripts are topnotch but I have a few bones to pick with Roberto De Latorre’s art. Admittedly, Jean Grey looks like Annie Lennox from the Eurythmics if back in the day Annie didn’t looked like she subsisted on krill. The shocking character revealed on the last page is simply sexy despite being male. Oh, yes, I was complaining...

De Latorre’s style is the kind of gritty realism I generally can only stomach from Alex Maleev. Also, one of the female characters has” breasts the size of her head syndrome.”

If you are as confused about what’s happening with the X-Men lately as I am, this is a great title to pick up, particularly as it seems it will not have major effects on any other X-title.

Avengers Assemble #1

I swear I’ve read this kind of stuff over and over again and considering it comes from Brian Michael Bendis, that’s quite a shocker. The art is passable but a little too “comicbooky”.

Bendis balances banter and combat well but he has no idea how to handle Black Widow. Natasha comes off as a straw feminist, at best. When Hawkeye half jokingly flirts with her, she doesn’t so much put him in his place as spur him on with a half-hearted rebuke.

I enjoyed seeing Thor out-muscled but I fear this is a typical case of making the bad guys their strongest at the beginning only to be easily defeated at the end of the story line.

Adventure Time with Finn and Jake #1

I promised a friend that I would review this book ,so although it hurts my ego, I will be gentle. Adventure Time is a Cartoon Network Show which I have never seen. The rollicking over-caffeinated, over-sugared zaniness must be pure crack to circa thirteen year olds. If you have either not seen the show or have a high school diploma,at least a bit of this comic will seem utterly nonsensical.

Finn, our main hero appears to be wearing a diaper on his head and his stretchy dog, Jake is an aesthetic horror show. I can just hear the toddlers in front of their t.v.s “ His eyes, his eyes, Mommy what’s wrong with the doggy’s eyes?” I do like Marceline the Vampire Queen though.

The first of the two stories is a to-be-continued in which a monster named the Lich returns to destroy the whole world by placing it in a bag of holding. ( Apparently, the series’s creator has spent some time at the Dungeons and Dragons table.) I hate to spoil a surprise, but it would be best not to have eaten anything too heavy when Finn puts on Jake as a battle suit.The Ice King, writing fan fiction, is a wonderful touch.

Moving on to the second story, Arron Renier is a much better writer than artist. I’m sure children would love his pencils but to me it seems like a horribly wrong mix of Doctor Suess and the Phantom Tollbooth.

The story is a silly, absurdist tale of mysterious cider from the sky and a mysterious mummy-wrapped figure. It is just gross enough to delight any red blooded eight-year-old boy. I have a huge spot in my heart for this tale’s protagonist, “Tree Trunks”.

I picked up the third printing of this book along with issue #2 so I will refrain from making a final decision on the title’s worthiness until I have perused the second comic. If you have kids however, be prepared to be seeing a LOT of “Diaper Head and Horror Eyes” in the future!

Green Lantern #7

Geoff Johns is a genius. He may not be the best comic writer of all time but for my money he is definitely very close to the top. His work and this Green Lantern run in particular has me finishing an issue and saying “ I want to know what happens next NOW.” No comic has ever made be say this so strongly in my life.

I am angered, shocked and a little hurt that the Indigo tribe appears to be a cult. The evidence is scant however, and the neck manacle placed on the Black Hand at the end of Blackest Night now adorns every Tribe member. Perhaps they’re under someone else’s control.

Sinistro must really learn to knock. Every time he visits Hal Jordan, Carol Ferris is nude in bed. Carol’s Star Sapphire outfit has long been the bane of every female comic fan. It’s about as degrading and antifeminist as possible. I’m not defending it but she does don her ring to kick some Indigo One and Sinistro butt to save her boyfriend,Hal.

Most DC comics and Green Lantern in particular, are way short on content but for my money this is the best mainstream book out there.

Saga #1

I have been sitting in rapturous awe trying to decide how to start this review. Well, I suppose I just did. On the fringes of comic fandom this comic has been hyped like the second coming of Neil Gaiman and Alan Moore’s final work combined. They have not done it enough justice. The opening scene is the best I can ever remember reading in my twenty plus years as a comic fan.

I have not experienced such a visceral joy reading a comic since Wendy and Richard Pini’s Elf Quest showed me that there were more to comics than Iron Man punching Fin Fang Foom.

Brian Vaughan is obviously trying very hard to please every possible comic fan while staying true to his own vision. I find there to be a bit too much violence. I do not believe I can make any other complaint.

This comic would be nothing more than one of the greatest novels ever written without the art work of Fiona Staples. I would be glad for this comic to come out quarterly or even bi-yearly if that’s what it took to keep her gorgeous art at this level.

My only concern is that they may have outdone themselves. How does one possible top this issue? And how can Hazel possibly be as interesting as her parents?

You may have been wondering what I meant by saying this blog is from a “slightly skewed perspective” . Let me give you a little clue. My favorite character in

the whole issue is Prince Robot IV ‘s alligator butler who appears in only one panel.

If you can find this comic BUY IT NOW. I’ll be at the zoo trying to teach an alligator to wear kid gloves.

St. Patrick's Day Reviews

Welcome back to another addition of Gonzo’s Dressing Room. You’ll have to excuse me if my writing seems a bit anemic as I am currently suffering from the insidious plague know as a severe head cold. But I couldn’t deny my couples of readers their ranty comic review fix. Moving right along:

Magic the Gathering #2

Really, vampires? We rejoin Dack as he “plane walks” to the realm of Innistrad, a Ravenloft-esque world that is an odd mixture of Renaissance, Gothic and Elizabethan Europe. And as I said, there are vampires.

Haven’t we experienced every possible permutation of the blood suckers in recent years? I for one think the undead should crawl back into their coffins for another ten years or so until they can be properly reinvented again.

Dack saves the life of a vampire huntress named Ingrid. Of course, she later returns the favor and the two escape to the house of Ingrid’s father, a hook-handed ex-vampire hunter or “Cathar” who looks like he is a relative of Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

We learn that the mysterious blade Dack steals in issue #1 has the power to control the vampires of Innistrad and that the series’ villainess, Sifa Grent destroyed Dack’s hometown hoping he was there, as she feeds-off magic users.

This comic seems more an ad for the card game than a legitimate story on its own. Writer Matt Forbeck writes as if this was his first title and the story-line feels as if its main point is to make the magic Collectable Card Game seem eclectic and fast paced.

I’m giving this book one final issue to get its feet underneath it.

Ralph Wiggum #1

I have been collecting Simpson’s Comics since the Simpson’s Comics and Stories one-shot way back in 1993. A few years ago I found myself not wanting to read them. I have a terrible habit of not reading all the comics I purchase but with the vast majority, I at least have every INTENTION of reading them; not so the Simpson’s. I found the humor getting worse and worse, to the point where I couldn’t even see how someone ELSE could find it amusing.

Then I heard of the Ralph Wiggum one-shot. What can it hurt? I thought. The Lisa Simpson one-shot was one of my favorite comics ever as a teen. And then there is my best friend. I wouldn’t ever be able to look her in the face again if I couldn’t even shell out $2.99 for a comic starring her beloved Ralphie. I have a theory why she has such a large spot in her heart for the pudgy little guy. He is unflappably optimistic and very dimwitted. Two descriptors that no one would ever apply to her.

But I’ve fallen into the old bloggers trap and dove off into a huge tangent. I assume my readership actually wants to know what the comic is like. Right? Ralph Wiggum #1 is a nearly unqualified success. I laughed out loud on the FIRST PAGE. The book is made up of five stories, mostly written by women. Unthinkably, Sergio Aragones does the worst job.

The final story, “Ralph the Role Model”, by Jesse McCann, is slightly weak and lacks a bit of Ralph’s charm but James Lloyd’s pencils are the strongest in the book. I felt like I was looking at Matt Groening’s own work. For flat out brilliance, however, look to “Ralph Wiggum’s Day Off” written and drawn by the infinitely talented Carol Lay. I will provide a link to her homepage. Please spend a lot of money on her work and not just because she is attractive. http://www.carollay.com/index.html

I applaud the low price on what is essentially a kid’s comic. Bongo has resisted the urge to but a collector’s item price on a book with more actual content than many of the mainstream titles out there. Moms and Dads will feel better about picking this comic up for their kids since they don’t have to shell out, with tax, over five bucks for it. Little Susie can get her Ralphie comic AND apple slices from McDonalds.

I leave you dear readers with a challenge: Sergio has a seek-and-find style “Where’s Ralph?” page. I found the little guy in 15.9 seconds. Go out and buy this book NOW so you can thumb your score of 13.4 in my face.

3/6/12

New comics come out tomorrow and I haven’t even reviewed anything from a week ago? To properly express my feelings, I have, at great personal expense, brought in the Mighty Thor. Thor, if you would:

“I SAY THEE NEIGH!”

Thank you Odinson, that was splendid. Now on to the reviews.

Victorian Secret, Girls of Steampunk: Winter Wardrobe #1:

How, one might ask, does one review an art comic? Or, for that matter, why would someone who has repeatedly decried the sexist portrayal of women in comics even want to? The answer: I’ll do my best to explain.

Let’s begin with the second question about my motives: I was curious. I thought, “It can’t be THAT bad, right?” I mean, the woman on the cover may technically be topless but she has beautiful green eyes and chic black lipstick. At worst, I’ll give my hormones a little treat and regret shelling out $3.99 for garbage pin-up art and be able to immortalize the mistake in this blog.

The girls are really a mixed bag; everywhere from classy to slutty, well-executed to amateurish, very steampunk to “why is she in here anyway?” I will show you the best and worst out of 27 pieces. Let’s pray you can tell which is which.

My recommendation? This is a decent primer for steampunk fan art. The Steampunk Glamour Review does a better job of immersing you in the real culture but it’s a bit less accessible. With the genre staying red hot and gaining mainstream recognition, this might not be as bad a buy as it first appears to be.

Batman the Dark Knight #6:

In the issues leading up to this one, Batman has been encountering a large cross section of his rogue’s gallery hopped up on a fear-based chemical that gives them enormous strength and reduces them to rage-filled simpletons. And yet, I never suspected Bane. I know, this was a rather open-and-shut case and being the greatest detective of all time, Bruce Wayne should have had this figured out in six pages not have it sprung on him in six issues. And everyone reading should have gotten it too. I freely admit to getting too absorbed in a comic that I never see ANYTHING coming. I feel the emotive minutia and miss the forest for the trees. And David Finch’s story is miles away from the beauty and sophistication of Neil Gaiman’s Death of Bruce Wayne.

The comic opens with Superman having beat the daylights out of Batman. (Hey, haven’t we seen these guys fight enough? Batman is brains, Sups is brawn. Given enough time to prepare, Bats wins, if he doesn’t he looses, end of story, try something new D.C.) Batman has been infected with the power toxin and somehow getting his butt handed to him worked the juice out. So all you fans who wanted to see Bruce die in issue six and never wanted to read any more of this hot hot title will be disappointed.

Flash has also been exposed and is trying to run the toxin out of his system by circling the globe full tilt. Bruce tells Clark that Flash’s efforts are counterproductive and that he has essentially become a bomb. Sups arrives at Flash’s side and tells him...to keep running? Either Finch is being intentionally confusing or he’s cooking something sinister up.

Paul Jenkins’ art is gritty and detailed and pleasing to the eye. The lingerie decked White Rabbit is a adolescent testosterone fueled fever dream and could, and probably should, have been done away with entirely.

For my money, the real story in this title is the political turmoil Commissioner Gordon has found himself in. Gotham is swarming with villains, mob-bosses and corrupt officials. One of Gordon’s lieutenants has been given a taste of power and is gunning for his boss’ job. LT. Forbes is cozying up to the mayor and painting Gordon as an out of control maverick who is entirely too comfortable with the “menace” Batman.

Dark Knight doesn’t quite make the cut for top five of the new 52 but it definitely has its high points. I know 90% of my male readers will be scratching their heads as to why I’m not gaga over this book. But hey, I’m the critic, baffling criticism is in the job description.

And now, let me leave you with a little reminder that your local comic shop has lots of cool stuff besides comics and that there is never a wrong time for combat boots.